a walking quadraplegic...

Youth group (def.):  a time to reach out to the kids in their community and share the Gospel with them.  One of the most amazing and yet challenging things about the youth group I minister to is their community.  I minister to them within a community of parental abuse, teen pregnancy, school dropouts, high violence, crude humour, and racism where are all those things that are the norm.  It's what they have seen, felt, and experienced in one way or another.  Some of the teens appear so tough and non-approachable that it is hard to even say "hi" without feeling a little intimidated by the "street toughness" they exhibit.  Yet these teens are what my heart longs to connect with and help.  To let them realize that there is a Person who knows what they are going through, and that He alone can save them; that Person is Christ.  

From time to time, we have teens that come to youth group that clearly do not want to be there.  Whether it was their parents forcing them to come or they become disenchanted with the atmosphere- sometimes teens that just want to leave.  Last night I had four innercity teens that clearly expressed their dissatisfaction of being at youth group.  And, like little native americans steathfully moving through a forest, they snuck out without anybody noticing.  And let me tell you that when you find out that they're gone, that is one humbling/frightening feeling! When parents entrust their children to you and you have no idea where they are! 

Consequently, I spend the rest of the time at youth group, driving a 12 passenger van (some would deem as the kidnapper van), seeking to find these four teens in the midst of labyrinth of streets and avenues that made up this large gated community where we met.  Finally, I found them.  I was so disapointed in them!  I laid such a heavy guilt trip (a future parental tendency?) into them because they had not told me they were not going to go .  We then proceeded to park the van and wait for their parents to come and pick them up.  For they made it clear they did not want to go back to the youth group.  Nor, given my current disposition back then, would have I let them!

And yet, I write this note because it made me realize something I had been doing to God.  I did not want to be where His presence was.  I did not want to experience His relationship in my life.  Because I knew I was pridefully keeping sins of past and sins of present to myself.  And I did not want him to take my supposed "freedom" away.  "It's my life God", "It's my choices!!!" I could hear myself say quietly in prayers and journals I would infrequently write during this time. And I, like my teen friends, wanted to go in my own direction, do my own thing.  The direction I was going in wasn't morally wrong in the eyes of man, but it was wrong before the sight of God. 

There are so many times we wander away, and yet God always takes us back when we finally realize how far we have wandered and come to our senses.  Just like the prodigal.  Just like me. 

"for my son was lost, but now He is found."
luke 15

Currently Listening Redemption Songs By Jars of Clay see related

timing

Senior mid-life crisis...
graduation, academia, fitness, ministry, relationships, dorm-life, greek, time, $$$, stress, health, sleep, classes,
Life can be so chaotic more schooling? work, love, happiness, joy, grief, sadness,  where do I go now? what happens next? what's right? blah! 

and yet it can be so simple.

TRUST. 
Ecclesiasties 3:11

Currently Listening Come Away with Me By Norah Jones see related

I was sooo tempted to shut this down.  But I failed the three part quiz they give for shutting my xanga down.

Maybe tomorrow. 

Two years ago, it was a good way of connecting with people.  Now facebook is in vogue.

So what do you think I should do:

SHUT DOWN?

KEEP IT?

*disclaimer* The power to shut down my site is still up to me... I would just like to know what you think about this matter.

Currently Listening Beyond Measure By Jeremy Camp see related

things I've learned (thus far)

I've learned to

be able to translate Greek like Dr. Decker, exposit a sermon like Don McCall, live my role of a family leader like Dwight Peterson, be able to discern Hebrew poetry like Dr. Lackey, determine my standing with Liberal theology like Dr. Boykin, defend my position on dispensationalism like Dr. Schoelgal, be involved in serving my local church like Bill Higley, know Biblical themes in literature like Dr. Hicks, how to construct proper sentences like Jeremy Kemmerer, how to write complete ideas of thought like Rachel Wiren, know the distinctives of the Baptist church like Dr. Colon Smith, know the philosophy behind science like Tom Williams, be able to forcast the weather like Vince Palmer, know how to treat my body like Dr. Chris Davis, become a member in my community like Ridley dorm, oh, and I haven't even begun to talk about what I learned at Word of Life or Public School...

but to know God in a personal level? 

well that only comes through Christ alone.

amen.   

Currently Listening She Must and Shall Go Free By Derek Webb Wedding Dress see related

South AfrikA!

prayFORus please

Operation Kokstad 2007